kalpurna

1. Oh my god, whatever, I give up. THE END. Tin hat: firmly glued to head.

"Yeah, it's the same thing as a good relationship: you can't have great sex with somebody if you don't have this electric undercurrent beneath it a little bit."

-Pete, on his and Patrick's "working relationship."

I have no comment about that, my friends: I feel it speaks for itself. In the same interview, Patrick calls Pete "Petey Wentz." While talking about their UNSPOKEN BOND. And oh man, Patrick, I thought PETE was the one with all the gay soundbites, but what the shit is this?

"Would you be friends if there was no Fall Out Boy?"

"I could see us being any number of things." -Patrick

YEAH. OKAY. If these boys were a TV show, that show would be written by Paul Gross. Why don't you go do some buddy breathing, you two.

2. Hey, girl!Patrick/girl!Pete! I could read approximately 8000 more Trish/Peyton stories, for reals. The ones out there are mind-blowing, of course, but I want MORE. Come on, there are tons of lesbians in bandslash, let's make this happen! And by "let's" I mean people who are not me.

I honestly think I might want to fuck girl!Patrick even more than boy!Patrick. Is that weird? It seems kind of weird! But good Christ, girl!Patrick would be crazy hot.

3. On the topic of things that are not bandslash, tattoos! I want one really badly. I know what I want for my first, definitely: the White Tree of Gondor with its seven stars, in between my shoulderblades in black ink. The Lord of the Rings means a lot of different things to me; the first thing I felt fannish about, the first fantasy novel I connected to deeply, my first exposure to linguistics. I've loved that book since I was seven, and I don't think my love for it is likely to change anytime soon. Anyway, that one I'm sure of. Linguistics, fannishness, geekiness, emotional connection to text and through text, to people (my father, my best friend) – LotR set a precedent.

There's a couple of other... ideas? Things? That I want inked on my skin, but I think I need a couple of years to think about execution and placement. The first is eucatastrophe. There's a line from the Bible that was in one of the Anne of Green Gables books, something like "sorrow may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." That's an idea that's been massively important to me in my life, especially given the way I cope (or fail to cope) with my issues – I panic and sink into despair in the night, alone, the only one awake, and it feels like nothing will ever be better, nothing will ever be okay. But morning comes. Morning always comes, and things get better, and I really badly need to believe in that. I believe in happy endings in a religious sense, always: I have faith that the beautiful turn will come, that dawn will break and the tide of night will recede. There lives the dearest freshness deep down things.

Anyway, I want a tattoo that stands for that, and I want it somewhere I can see it myself, on the front of my body. But where? I still want to get hired for stupid university jobs! And what will I get? Maybe I'll go with a line from the Hopkins poem, but I'm just not sure yet, and I need to be sure. The other tattoo I want, the one I'm even vaguer about, is something about irregularity, freakishness, queerness, all things counter, original, spare, strange. (Can you tell who my favorite poet is?) That's important to me, and I think always will be, but I really haven't got the first clue about how to execute the damn thing. So, these are the three things I want to be part of my skin: fannishness/linguistics, faith/eucatastrophe, and queerness/freakishness. I'm good with that, as a quick summary of me! It sounds about right.

Hey, anyone got tattoo place recs? New York or Chicago (or Philly)?

ETA: WHOA.