HUGE-ASS SPOILER FOR SGA S4 [kalpurna]

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OH MY GOD. WHO THE FUCK IS TEYLA'S BABYDADDY? OH MY FUCKING GOD, IF IT IS JOHN SHEPPARD I WILL CUT A BITCH. NO, SERIOUSLY. CUT. A. BITCH.

AND SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY SGA WRITERS: IF YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE YOUR CRIMINALLY UNDERUSED FEMALE CHARACTER A PLOTLINE, PLEASE DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT HER UTERUS. I MEAN, COME THE FUCK ON.

Basically I do not trust SGA writers to handle this well AT ALL, THE END. But hey, on the plus side, we might get to see someone talk about birth control in the Pegasus Galaxy! Maybe Ronon is anti-choice, that would be fun. Possibly he will wear a t-shirt saying "abortion is murder" and Rodney McKay will rage about Canadian values and a woman's right to choose. Perhaps I will not want to lobotomize myself after this plotline plays out! I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE.

ETA: Oh my Jesus, what if it's Lucius's? For the ULTIMATE WIN IN MISOGYNISTIC BULLSHIT? Actually, you know what, if this baby is conceived through rape in any way whatsoever I will honest to God flip a shit. Go for it, PTB! Take away her sexual agency, as well! MAKE MY FUCKING DAY.

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There are 44 comments on this entry. (Reply.)

WHAT.

NO REALLY.

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?

Dude. I am - I mean, I have been trying REALLY REALLY HARD HERE to give the writers the benefit of the doubt. This is my SHOW! I want to love it, no matter how cracktacular and fucked-up it gets.

But this - *sigh*. I really, really, want them to use the word "babydaddy" at some point, but I know that they won't, and that? Makes me sad.

adfkljasl;dfkj I am SO GLAD you are okay with spoilers because if I didn't rage about this at someone I was going to fucking burst a vein. I am trying to think of ways this could end well and BASICALLY THERE AREN'T ANY.

Man, I have to admit, though: if John uses the word babydaddy I will be so very thrilled. You know out of all of them, he is the one that WOULD. And then Rodney would give him the ultimate withering look of doom.

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if John uses the word babydaddy I will be so very thrilled. You know out of all of them, he is the one that WOULD.

No, see, it's going to be RONON. Clearly! He'll use it, and Rodney will boggle and give John the glare of OMG WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING THEM and John will roll his eyes and shrug, all secretly awkward but having to pretend he's fine with it because otherwise he'll look like a pussy in front of Ronon.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH. WHAT IS UP WITH THIS SHIT?

You know who should be the babydaddy? Elizabeth! or possibly Sora, because god damn it, I want my improbably pregnancies!

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I keep thinking of ways that this could play out that would be genuinely hilarious and worth it, like RONON SAYING BABYDADDY, and then I just want to cry because that is not what they are going to do. They will have Teyla searching her soul and being all conflicted about telling the father or some shit, just wait and see. GOD. I HATE LIFE.

I KNOW I KNOW. Elizabeth being the babydaddy = best of all possible worlds.

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Drive by comment- an Athosian since no one on Atlantis knows?

Man, I seriously hope so. That would be at least MILDLY LESS SUCK than any of the Atlantis people. Unless, I don't know, it's secretly Carson's zombie baby or something. Or, ahahaha, what if it's ELIZABETH'S baby! Femmepreg FTW!

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That is EXACTLY what I said to Anna, when she told me: "Is it WEIR'S??" And she spat spaghetti all over her monitor, apparently.

BUT SERIOUSLY. WAY TO GO, SGA WRITERS. WAY TO BE FUCKING FEMINIST. ASSHOLES. OMFG.

*boggled and PISSED THE FUCK OFF*

AUGH!

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afjaslkdfj alsd YES, that is pretty much the only thing that would make this okay. TEYLA CARRYING WEIR'S BABY.

WHY DO THEY DO THIS TO ME, LIZ

WHY

I can honestly say that I never saw this plotline coming, because I did not think that they were actually that stupid. Oh my GOD.

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Ahahaha wow, I'm really happy that I had no love for the show left for them to kill now. :[

FOR SERIOUS. :( :(

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I don't think it's going to be John's. My bet is, if another main character is the babydaddy, it's gonna be Ronon. Because hey, if they're going to throw sexist content in my face they might as well throw some racism in there as well!

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Godddd it is so fucking true. Stargate Atlantis, am I going to have to come to Vancouver and choke a bitch? DON'T THINK I WON'T.

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THAT IS THE EXACT SAME THING I WAS THINKING! After I stopped laughing hysterically, anyway.

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Oh man, I WISH I DIDN'T CARE, but I still sort of do. :( :( I mean, yeah, I can see how on some level this is HILARIOUS(LY AWFUL), I really can, but also... oh, show! You had some good moments! There was that one time in season 3 when John and Ronon talked about maybe dating dudes without any stupid homophobic bullshit! IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS, SGA.

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WHAT!

Oh my GOD, I LOVE IT. I hope it's Rodney's. I HOPE IT'S RODNEY'S SO BADDD. I haven't watched any s3 eps, but man, that would make me catch up so fast. RODNEY.

DUDE WHATEVER. YOU KNOW IT'S CARSON'S. \o/

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OH MAN, I HOPE IT'S CARSON'S ZOMBIE BABY

I REALLY, REALLY DO

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ahahaha, that might actually be KIND OF AMAZING. WOW. I will freak the fuck out if it's John's (she's not interested in him!) (HE'S GAY!) but if it is Rodney's, it could be comedy gold. If only for all the awkward-ass conversations that would ensue. (Rodney and John! Teyla and John! John and Ronon! Ronon and Rodney! ALL WONDERFUL!)

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*jaw drops*

Um. I don't even watch the show, and.....WTF???

IT IS RIDICULOUS. I don't even KNOW. They have a kick-ass, smart, competent warrior character who never gets any significant plotlines, so they make her pregnant.

alkfjasl;dkfjals;dfjkadls;fjk asdl

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*sigh*

One can only hope this storyline is quick and painless. Maybe it'll be something like when Cordy was pregnant for like a day on Angel.

Oh my God, I would pay ONE MILLION DOLLARS for Joss Whedon to come take care of Teyla's storyline for one whole season. I fucking WISH.

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....No.

I just. SHOW. WHY DO YOU DO THIS? On my scale of things that suck? This will probably be above Frank (maybe) getting married. I just...no.

IT IS THE WORST. OMG. THE. WORST.

People who I would be relatively okay with as Teyla's babydaddy, even though a pregnancy storyline for this character is sexist bullshit:

1. Elizabeth
2. Sora
3. Rodney
4. Zombie Carson

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I'm pulling for one or four in light of other rumors floating around. Hell, I still haven't seen the last three episodes of S3, I just... bah.

I like the plan to bring Joss in. I'd be okay with that.

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There was some good stuff in the last few episodes of S3, as I recall? I liked S3 a lot! But man, everything I hear about S4 makes me want to choke a bitch.

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The more I learn about this show, the happier I am that I never got into it!

For real!

That is my helpful and sympathetic comment!

*weeps*

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i am so glad i don't watch SGA. so very, VERY glad.

"but izzy, why did you click on the cut tag at all, then?"

because i wanted to find out who they were killing off.

::RUNS AWAY::

You are MEAN OMG :( :(

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i'm sorry!! i am! ::pets your traumatized little head::

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*sulks* Oh, hey, petting? *purrs*

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To be ever so slightly fair to the SGA writers, they're actually writing in Rachel Lutrell's real life pregnancy, not just manufacturing one for the hell of it.

That said, I have absolutely NO confidence in their ability to write this story line in anything remotely resembling a decent and non-misogynistic/patriarchal manner.

Oh my god, that makes me feel so much better. Wow. I did not know that. It's definitely less awful to have a lameass pregnancy storyline than to just write Teyla mysteriously out of the show for a few months.

But while I'm reassured about their motives, I still kind of want to die when I think about how they're going to execute it. :[

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I will concede, though, that Rachel Luttrell babies sound sort of aww.

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...that's kind of true. Damn you, babies! You are ~~my only weakness~~ one of my many weaknesses!

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::is so glad she took a canon break around 3x19::

Seriously, you can see them sitting around the writers' room like, "dude, we have to write something about women."

... Dead silence.

What do we know about women?
... They have breasts?
Okay, check that off the list, Teyla has breasts. What else do we know?
Babies! Babies! They have babies!

High fives all round and they quit work early and hit the bar.

Oh my Jesus, that is exactly how it fucking happened. I mean, even given the Rachel pregnancy thing. You know they were SO RELIEVED. A ready-made Teyla storyline! The next riveting Teyla episode: Athosians and PMS.

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Though, just to restate what everyone else has said, if it is 1) Elizabeth's, or Cadman's, or Brown's 2) the product of her torrid off-camera affair with Rodney, I will give in and enjoy the plotline.

Come to think of it, does anyone in scifi get pregnant through really liking the sex? I can't think of an instance.

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I'm fine with this. Because we so totally know that it's Teyla being a womb for John and Rodney's baby. Then the rest of season 4 is going to play out somewhat like "A Beautiful Lifetime Event" and it's all good.

For-serious.

I like that Teyla has canonically had sex too. Fiiiillllllthy. :D

That would make EVERYTHING OKAY, it is true.

Oh man, but I have this horrible suspicion that it's going to turn out to be, like, Michael's implanted medical experiment or some shit, or a result of rape, or, I don't know, just somehow NOT an indication that Teyla had some sex because she wanted to have some sex. :(

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Yeah - I actually do think that it's probably something Michael did to her. Because the writers, especially that cock Joe, will have thought about how cool that was and, yet again, not about how that would be for a woman.

Did Torri not teach them ANYTHING?

But no! In my head? John/Rodney's biological love-child needed a womb to grow in and Teyla loves them so offered.

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Maybe Ronon is anti-choice, that would be fun. Possibly he will wear a t-shirt saying "abortion is murder" and Rodney McKay will rage about Canadian values and a woman's right to choose.

Orange Juice: *sprawls on monitor & keyboard*

heeeeee, sorry about that. ;D

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April