you made me love you, I didn't want to do it

[kalpurna]

So, I've been avoiding posting about this because I was trying to keep it a secret from loveyouallwrong, to the point of nearly bribing impertinence, but I've been watching a whole bunch of Criminal Minds. The secret-keeping ended the other day when I was talking to her on the phone and accidentally shared my thoughts on CM ships. It took me a few seconds to recognize that the quiet on the other end of the line had changed from simple listening silence to HORRIBLE CHARGED SILENCE DRIPPING WITH DOOM. Whatever, Lea! I'm not really in that fandom at all! LEA DON'T LEAVE ME I'M PREGNANT.

Anyway so my thoughts on CM ships are basically summed up as follows:

- all of the Morgan/Garcia
- all of the Reid/hot people, seriously, just all of them need to fuck Reid all the time ALWAYS
- even more Morgan/Garcia, but this time epically long and with sex pollen.

This is one of those fandoms that I seriously don't understand because the potential audience is GIGANTIC, half of my flist watches it and the other half would do so if forced to experience ten minutes of Spencer Reid, and yet there are approximately three fics. What is the deal with that? I don't know! They need to get their hands on some of the growth hormones Merlin fandom is producing in its meth lab basement.

FLISTERS WHO DO NOT WATCH THIS SHOW: for a good time, google "Matthew Gray Gubler" and click on the first link. And also watch this. I DARE you not to love him. I fucking dare you.

Comments

[marksykins.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, I watched Criminal Minds early enough that I didn't know about Lea's hatred and she nearly tore my head off for mentioning it.

I AGREE WITH THOSE SHIPS. Also your thoughts on the fanfiction. What the heck?

[kalpurna.livejournal.com]

I'm the worst because I commiserated with her hardcore and in fact promised her I would never ever under any circumstances get into it because after all, I hate procedurals! No worries! :(

\o/ I watched "Lucky" and "Penelope" the other night, and "Mayhem" last night, and MARKSY I REALLY SHIP IT REALLY A LOT. Oh my god. A lot a lot.

I don't understand the lack of fanfiction. Even Reid/Hotch, which should by all statistical precedent have a lot of shit out there, has barely anything. What is up?

[fayemeadows.livejournal.com]

LEA DON'T LEAVE ME I'M PREGNANT.

*laughs self to death*

[bayleaf.livejournal.com]

HOW DARE YOU, MY GOD? Pssst, where are the three stories? Point me to them! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

[dsudis.livejournal.com]

I've got these (http://delicious.com/dira_compartmentalized/cm%3Amorgan%2Freid), which is, like, five! Even if four of them are in one series.

[dsudis.livejournal.com]

IAWTP.

Also at some point I had plotted out fic where Reid confesses to Morgan that a) the thing he hates most about the job is how it has totally ruined porn, and b) he thus is forced to jerk off thinking about his colleagues. I should totally write that except I think the Merlin bunnies have gotten into the meth/growth hormone/rabies.

[algernon-mouse.livejournal.com]

I've thought that Criminal Minds was slashy from the get go.

*coughs*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_abulafia/]

Matthew Gray Gubler is totally hot and charming and he is (or was?) dating Kat Dennings, who is totally hot and charming also. I want him to be in something other than Criminal Minds because I don't like Criminal Minds! I want to like Criminal Minds, because Matthew Gray Gubler is so hot and charming. But I can only ever really stomach the episodes that feature just his character. It's okay when other characters are talking about his character, but when they start to talk about the serial killer of the week, they lose me. The actress who plays Prentiss -- one "s"? two? -- is pretty good, but not good enough to get me interested in the serial killer stuff. Booooring.

That is the situation with me and Criminal Minds.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_abulafia/]

Kat Dennings, FYI:

[an-sceal.livejournal.com]

I find myself wondering the same thing every time I go to look for fic. It's just SAD.

More people need to fuck Reid. Now.

[riadsala.livejournal.com]

Your thoughts on CM ships are the correct thoughts. I would watch a whole episode of Morgan and Garcia on the phone sexually harassing each other.

Also, I would read every unsub-makes-them-do-it fic about any of them.

[violin-road.livejournal.com]

I WOULD WATCH FOUR HUNDRED EPISODES OF MORGAN AND GARCIA ON THE PHONE SEXUALLY HARASSING EACH OTHER.

[janet-carter.livejournal.com]

There are Criminal Minds tie-in novels available in my library system, and I keep thinking about requesting them, except that I'm pretty sure the author doesn't share our shipping preferences. They're available in large print!

[thepouncer.livejournal.com]

Criminal Minds rules!

Numerous stories I liked enough to recommend (http://delicious.com/pouncerrecs/criminalminds). I found them by reading through every entry in the CM fic communities, back when I first got into the show. It was a tough slog, but there are some gems if you look hard enough.

Reid is definitely my favorite. I like the way they hurt him /o\

[shoemaster.livejournal.com]

:DDDDDDDDDDDDD

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

you were gonna bribe me? SHIT.

[strobelighted.livejournal.com]

hahahahahahahahahahahaha


i want long, plotty morgan/garcia fic. make it happen.

[gigantic.livejournal.com]

I want ALL the Morgan/Garcia and Morgan/Reid I can squeeze out of the internet. ALL OF IT.

[ngaio]

That there is no Criminal Minds fiction is one of the mysteries of the universe. And one of its greatest wrongs also.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST.

[go-gentle.livejournal.com]

one of us! one of us! one of us!

[magdalyna.livejournal.com]

I'm very pleased that you've outed yourself. Does this mean you'll start talking about it more? *hopeful doe eyes*

[bkm5191.livejournal.com]

I don't understand why the huge TV shows have such bad fic

I read through almost the entire CSI site on summer and I could because most of the time I didn't read past the second paragraph.

Also, so much scary BDSM fic with Grissom.

[crimsonclad.livejournal.com]

Anyone who would take that dare is a FOOL who would soon learn many important lessons.

MANY.