It's time to talk about Brendon Urie! [kalpurna]

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Someone come talk to me about that precious monkey child, please! Topics for discussion may include, but are by no means limited to:

His apple bottom
The fact that ever since Gerard is marrying a LADY, he is arguably the gayest boy in bandom
His stupid adorable face
All the many and varied boys he should be boning, for serious
The fact that he used to be a MORMON
His stupid amazing tattoo
His honest-to-God impressive musical talent
His cocksucking mouth

I have to go to sleep now, b/c I have work in the morning, but I want to wake up to your opinions on this important issue, if you don't mind. Also, an important (text) message from

shoemaster, which I received AT WORK:

Have you thought about Patrick's mouth moving over Bob's hips as Bob bites his lip ring, waiting for Patrick to just suck his cock already?

Yeah. Yeaaaaaaah. Thanks for that.

Mood::

sleepy

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There are 37 comments on this entry. (Reply.)

Hi hi, let's talk about how Brendon needs to stop cuddling his stupid bandmates like, yesterday? Except by "stop" I mean "keep", and by "yesterday" I mean "forever and ever and ever". SHUT YOUR PRECIOUS MOUTH BRENDON.

Or maybe his adorable tiny legs. Where Patrick and his BFFs have Chicago thighs, Brendon Urie has Vegas calves. Which are apparently TINY AND ADORABLE.

I agree with this comment FOR REALS. Oh my God, out of all those touchy-feely boys, he is probably the cuddliest. AND I LOVE IT. ♥

lsdjflskdfj his little LEGS, omg, in his tight girl pants. I enjoy it when he's on stage dancing around like a miniature lunatic with his amazing ass and his little legs and his FACE!

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Um.

I really want Bob/Patrick now.

Like, so, so much that I can't even express it to you.

I really have no words for Brendon Urie. He exasperates me, and then he makes me giggle, and then he sways his hips and completely dorks out in a way that should not be hot or sexy in the least and I come in my pants.

I call him Mouse in public and he was born two days after me in the same year, and if I hadn't seen the way he looks at Ryan/Spencer/Jon/Patrick/Beckett, I would swear we were soul mates.

I KNOW, RIGHT? I had never thought about it before, and then I texted Allison about how I was seriously attracted to Bob's hips and Patrick's mouth, no, REALLY, and then she texted me back AND THEN I DIED. aldkfjlsjdkf

I knoooooow, why is the dorkiness so smokin' hot? It is BEYOND me. <33333

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GERARD IS STILL THE GAYEST BOY IN BANDOM.

*covers ears and sings lalalalalala*

(Also, Bob/Patrick, yes plz. Rt now.)

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I know srsly.

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TELL THAT TO HIS LADY FIANCE

*cries*

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Bah! he's just marrying his beard. He loves her, sure. But in a completely platonic way. He just lost a bet, so now he has to get hitched. To a lady. Because he has mean friends with wicked senses of humor.

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Bob/Frank/Patrick, yes or yes? I think it starts with Frank coming over to their apartment and hijacking their kitchen to cook for them/set things on fire. I have maybe babbled about this incoherently to

gigantic a lot.

YES. YES YES. I WOULD READ THAT FIC, OMG. HOTTTTT

But where is GERARD? If Gerard is all alone I will cry sad tears!

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Ha, funny story. A while ago, I started a little thing that, um, picks up where Interesting (http://valerie-z.livejournal.com/772198.html) left off (because it's normal to write sequels in your head/in email to someone else's fic?). Where Gerard goes to his room and tells his boyfriends Frank and Bob what happened. And they think he was crazy. 'Cause seriously Gerard, that was sweet how you didn't want to "cheat" or something, but dude. It's PATRICK. Have you seen that guy?

Oh yeah, and then Patrick stops by the next morning to discuss singing with My Chem.

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God, why don't I get text messages that amazing? Also, I HAVEN'T thought about that particular scenario Patrick/Bob scenario, but I will get on that RIGHT NOW, OKAY. Ngh, lip ring.

Also, Brendon Urie. I have nothing worthwhile to add, but yes. Yes. Mmm.

Um, I don't know why I got this one, but I am SO NOT COMPLAINING. Except about how it was at WORK, and did not leave me thinking WORKPLACE-APPROPRIATE THOUGHTS. Oh my God, is it not the hottest image ever? (LIP RING. Frank, sweetie, you have to put yours back in. For the good of the porn!)

Brendon Urie, I would seriously date you (if I were a dude).

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Re: Allison's message. Um, now I have! And thanks, because it's an awesome image!

Re: Brendon Urie. Let me repeat, I wish I had a cock so he could suck it. Also, I love the way people play with the fact that he used to be Mormon, because there's so many different and genuinely interesting directions that little fact can be taken in. There was some clip I was watching that mentioned a radio interview that he and Jon? Maybe? did where they were messing around and he said into the mic "There is no god" or something equivilant in a whisper, and I love thinking about him making those types of jokes in the context of him being raised super-religiously.

Also, there should be more fics that deal with his relationship with his parents. Only, possibly not because that's a topic that would be awesome done well and really really painful done poorly...

At this point I'm just rambling. Have fun at work!

I know, dude, I know. Once the thought has occurred to you, it is impossible NOT to think about it, EVEN IF YOU ARE AT WORK OMG

I know I know I know! Patrick, Frank, and Brendon all fuck with my mind, because even though I love being a girl and do not have any real penis envy... I would seeeeeeriously love it if they could suck my cock.

Brendon being a former Mormon is such PERFECT fic-fodder. It's such a fascinating thing to explore, if it's done right! I want someone to mimic Dira and start writing amaaaazing Brendon Ex-Mormon Fic, just like her awes Gerard Sobriety Fic.

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♥

Oh, and BTW (by which I mean, apropos of nothing); how's home?

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You were ASKING for it. Also I was filled with NO MORE FINALS I HAS A VISA glee. That had to go somewhere.

And Patrick is teasing Bob because he can and he likes the way Bob's hands are fisting at his thighs, not reaching out to force Patrick into doing ANYTHING he doesn't want. Plus, his breathing is getting all shallow and, dude, his breath hitches when Patrick turns his head just enough that his bottom lip brushes against Bob's shaft.

NNNGHHHHHH

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ALDKJFLA;SKDFJLSKJFSLKJLKM

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4. RAY TORO. SOMEONE, PLEASE.

OMG.

Ray doesn't spend much time with the guys in Panic! They're nice kids, sure, but they don't really run in the same circles. Except for how they do. Mikey drags Ray to a party Pete is throwing at his bar, and some how the entirety of Panic is there, even though Ray is pretty sure that's illegal.

He's discussing guitars in a corner booth with Mike Carden when the singer, Brendon, trips towards them.

"Mike! You have to hide me, Bill is trying to get the bartender to invent new drinks and he wants me to try all of them."

Mike just laughs, "You're small and compact, I'm sure you can hide yourself."

When Brendon sighs his whole body heaves. "You have forsaken me."

Ray can't help it, the kid looks a little ridiculous and he pouts even better than Frank, so he finds himself saying, "Maybe I can help you out."

With that Brendon's whole face lights up, "Ray Toro, I'll remember this always."

And then Brendon is dragging him through the crowd, ignoring Ray when he says, "I'm pretty sure I just make you more conspicuous, dude."

Brendon only stops when he reaches a storage closet? "What, did you want me to stand guard outside? Because that really will look conspicuous."

"No! You have to come in with me. It'll be dark inside."

He's right, it is dark. "You didn't just lock us in, did you?" Ray asks, leaning against the door.

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"No, Spencer said you can open it from inside, we're fine."

"Oh. I saw him talking with Bob earlier but then they..." Oh. "Oh."

"Yeah." Brendon's voice sounded a little breathy there, but Ray might just be imagining things.

"So, uh, how should we pass the time?" It's a stupid question, but he has to say something before he starts wondering about how close Brendon is standing.

"I Spy?" Brendon suggests, and then Ray doesn't have to wonder anymore, because Brendon is pressed all along his side.

"But I can't see anything." Which is why it comes as a complete surprise when Brendon's hands start undoing the buttons on Ray's jeans.

"Is this cool?" Brendon asks, his breath hot on Ray's neck.

"I-uh-" Brendon's hand is stroking Ray's cock through his boxers. "Yeah."

"Awesome." Brendon nips at Ray's jaw and slides down onto his knees. Most of the blood in Ray's head follows him down because the mouth that got him into this mess is about to be wrapped around his cock (he hopes).

Ray reaches a hand out, brushing the top of Brendon's head. "Wait," he says, even has his back arches away from the door so Brendon can pull his pants and boxers down. "You're, uh, over 18, right?"

Brendon laughs and Ray can feel the staccato breaths on his thigh. "Yeah, I'm twenty now, not even a teenager."

Ray's really happy about that, and doing his best to ignore the fact that in a few weeks he's going to be thirty. Brendon helps with that when he wraps his hand around the base of Ray's cock and squeezes before sliding his hand up and down the shaft. He waits until Ray is completely hard before wrapping his lips around the head and it's exactly the way Ray imagined it- not that he's spent a lot of time thinking about the lips of the teenagers on the scene. Brendon's lips and his mouth are just...special.

Ray's head falls back against the door when Brendon's lips meet the fist he still has wrapped around the base of Ray's cock. It's weird, doing this in a dark room. He can't see anything, just feel the way Brendon's tongue moves on his shaft and listen to the wet noises his mouth is making as Gwen Stefani plays outside.

uhm. Insert more porn and an orgasm here? Unless someone else wants to pick this up! Because it is three am and I have shit to do still. *criez*

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!!!!!!!! YES THAT PRECISELY. AHAHAHA RAY'S REALLY HAPPY THAT IT TURNS OUT HE'S NOT A PEDO. And omg, omg, just HOT, okay. They are my second most favorite PATD/MCR OTP!!

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RAY WOULD'VE STOPPED, REALLY. They just would've made out for a bit then he would've run off to the bathroom and jerked off, wondering why Pete let a seventeen year old into the bar. Because everything is Pete's fault!

and yay! This kind of just happened and then I hit a wall and fell asleep *facepalm*

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*flails*

(also, *is distracted by the idea of Bob/Spencer for a long while*)

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*twirls* You've read all of

arsenicjade's Bob/Spencer stuff, right? I've got a ton tagged on del.icio.us.

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WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK MY BRAIN OMFG STOP IT

THAT'S A LIE, NEVER STOP IT PLZ

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IT'S SUMMER. YOU DON'T NEED IT. ALSO I KEEP HOPING YOU'LL PORN RECIPROCALLY.

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Nnngh. Jst...Nnnngh.

Good lord, that kid? Has the most beautiful ass ever. It's slightly ridiculous, because he is a SPAZ, but...it makes me want to do dirty dirty things. To him. Forever.

I can't say enough good about that tattoo. I think it's gorgeous, I think it means something to him because hello, left his family for the MUSIC ~~and RyanRoss~~, it looks like it's popping out of his skin. That is so Brendon, music is just part of him, it's IN him, he lives the music, okay? Also, he loves it ~~and the rest of his band wants to lick it~~.

Boy's got a voice to die for. I love listening to the covers, and don't get me wrong, I love the Smashing Pumpkins, but the singer's voice is whiny! Brendon's? NOT. Brendon's voice makes my knees go weak, my eyes well up, or my heart pound, depending on the song. He is some sort of musical ANGEL I am so not kidding.

DO NOT get me started on the mouth, it makes me want a cock JUST SO HE CAN SUCK IT.

It is STUPENDOUS. I am honestly impressed! It makes PETE'S look ordinary, which is no small feat.

GOD, YES. Everything you said. Oh, I love his tattoo SO MUCH, for all of those reasons right there.

Oh man, his VOICE. Before I knew ANYTHING about this band, I was pretty impressed with that kid's voice! I think he sometimes gets overshadowed by Patrick and his Gift From God, but Brendon can more than hold his own, vocally. Also he plays fifty million instruments and he and Greta and Patrick should reproduce and create a race of adorable musical genius children.

OMG I HAVE THAT EXACT SAME THOUGHT 5902930 TIMES A DAY

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Pete truly has an amazing ass, but Brendon's? I want to bite it. All the time.

MUSICAL GENIUS CHILDREN!! YES! We need this so much , I can't impress the importance of Brendon and Greta and Patrick reproducing for this cause.

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For a second there I thought that said Brendon FRASER. I think it was the monkey comment...

heeeee. That's – that's making me think bizarre thoughts about crossing over my fannish streams, actually. Because I would totally read the fic where Brendon Urie is a Mountie.

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BRENDON AND TURNBULL WOULD BE BFF.

(Fraser is so scared by that idea)

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OMG. I THINK I JUST BROKE MY SPLEEN.

...and Fraser's head would probably explode, actually, at the calamity named Turnbull & Urie.

HAHAHAHA. OW, MY LIVER.

SOMEONE SHOULD SO WRITE THAT. dude.

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Ok no. Stop right there missy. Bandom is addictive enough on it's own, but when you throw Mounties into the mix? That's a recipe for ~~hotness~~ disaster. I would be chained to the computer. Chained I tell you!

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April