kalpurna

Hey, so airinshaw mentioned me as one of three people, along with helleboredoll (HI HEL) and Patrick Stump, who she thinks have a Very Severe Case of Pete Wentz. And oh my god, okay, at first I was actually a little surprised! I spend a lot more time talking about Patrick, right? I want to bone him super badly! Obviously! And really I'm a big MCR girl, of course, and Panic makes me giggle with joy, and Greta has my hand in marriage forever, the end. But then I started thinking about it more, and oh.

I really fucking love Pete Wentz.

He's NOT my type, at all. Ever. He would probably drive me insane if I knew him in, like, high school partly because he would probably be dating (or at least mooning over) Meela and also treating her horribly oh my God what a train wreck THAT would be. He does really stupid things ALL THE TIME and makes me want to facepalm CONSTANTLY and makes me WORRY with his EMO BLOG POSTS, UGH.

But oh shit, you guys, honestly, I love his stupid face. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥



LIES!



The first time I saw this picture I LOLed for about a hundred years. COMEDY GOLD.



He has a big gay following! I cannot dispute it!



I have seen two captions for this picture, and one was "Does he always stand like he's five years old?" and the other one was "Does he always stand like he has a cock up his ass?" and the answer to both of these questions is yes.



Oh, PETE. Nice Hogwarts t-shirt, you little FANBOY.



You little... SLASH fanboy? If Patrick Stump's OTP is Patrick/Dirty, then Pete's is definitely Harry/Pete.



He thinks he's a Gryffindor.



I think he's a Hufflepuff. <3



Sometimes I feel like Pete Wentz is a walking, talking macro. He has a Patrick!



Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.



Here is him looking like a college boy. He is arguing some super pretentious point here, OR he is discussing brands of hairspray. Choose your own adventure!



Man, do I ever love Pete's t-shirts.



No, seriously, WHERE DOES HE GET THEM?



LOL YOU GUYS, true story that I cannot believe I forgot to tell you! greyandgrey made me a t-shirt that says, in sparkly glitter pen, "My boobs are more famous than me!" And that was before I made a filter specifically devoted to my nipples. SIGH. PETE, I FEEL YOU.



w00t!



Patrick Stump doesn't care about Fall Out Boy fans.



Ahahaha, okay, this picture always reminds me of this girl I met at nerd camp one year who went to a Convent of the Sacred Heart school in San Francisco. She was a pretty hilarious kid (also fucking gorgeous, not that that's relevant to this discussion, but wow, how did I not notice my bisexuality earlier in life? SERIOUSLY) and she told us this story about how she had sex ed in school, but it was CATHOLIC sex ed, so it was all about abstinence. And this one time, they were talking about techniques for, y'know, Saving Yourself For Marriage, and the teacher, in absolute seriousness, said to them, "If you're ever afraid you might be about to have sex, I want you to put on your GOD GOGGLES, and look at the situation through God's eyes." And he made them all put their hands up and make God Goggles.

So basically every time I see this picture, I think of a) Pete putting on his God Goggles and b) Pete in a Catholic School AU. Yesss.



I am seriously attracted to this kid.



I admit it.



Oh, come on.



Like you can blame me.



Holy shit, Pete's ABS.



HOLY SHIT, PETE'S ASS.



!!!!!!!



So this one time when I was at a show I groped Pete's thigh. That story would have involved about forty percent more capslock if HIS SHIRT HAD BEEN RIPPED OFF AT THE TIME SWEET JESUS



Oh my God, just go away. No, I lied, COME HERE PLEASE.



In conclusion, I love his faaaaaaaaaaaace.