Gerard/bad decisions OTP [kalpurna]

Ahahahahahahahaha, can we please talk about Bert and Gerard's break-up songs, and how much they both make me adore GERARD ARTHUR WAY? Oh man! I just saw the Used's video for Handsome Awkward, and those LYRICS. GERAAAAARD. (In case you hadn't guessed, this is going to be a tin-hat-tastic post with bonus capslock! Wheeee!)

OKAY SO SERIOUSLY THESE LYRICS.

Your dream vacation is my hostage refuge

MY EX-BOYFRIEND'S ~~MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN ME~~ A SELL-OUT!

A work in progress you bleed

YEAH, PRETTY MUCH

Just like you puke while running a mile!

LOL GERARD ISN'T THAT ATHLETIC.

I beg to differ, make me an offer

IDK?

Walks on the rain you bleed

IDK?

Just like you puke while running a mile

FATSO!

Are you okay?

BECAUSE THIS ONE TIME GERARD WROTE A SONG CALLED I'M NOT OKAY! GET IT? GET IT? BERT IS SUBTLE LIKE AN ANVIL.

You look pretty low!

OOH, DOUBLE ENTENDRE, NOT BAD! GERARD LOOKS KIND OF UPSET, OR HE LOOKS GOOD ON HIS KNEES? CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE, SAYS BERT.

Pretty handsome awkward.

No capslock, even, because seriously, if that does not describe our boy to a T, I don't know what does. He's pretty, he's handsome, he's awkward as all fuck. I guess "pretty, handsome, awkward, and nerdalicious" didn't really fit the meter! Oh, Bert, do you think these things are INSULTS? Awww. That's sort of sweet in its misguided-ness.

GUYS I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT. OHHH I'M LAUGHING OUT LOUD.

The video is priceless, too. It's – well,

valerie_z says "Oh, Bert, your face is an anti-drug commercial," and yeah, pretty much. "GERARD, YOU PUSSY, YOU COULD HAVE HAD THIS SEXALICIOUS BOOTY, AND SIMULTANEOUSLY BEEN WASTED ENOUGH TO FIND THIS VIDEO WATCHABLE! REGRET YOUR BAD DECISIONS, MY GOOD FRIEND! AWWWW YEAH."

<3333333333333333

So hey, where's Gerard's break-up song? I mean, he hasn't been dropping hints about which one it is in major magazines and then backpedaling, or anything, so we have to do a little more detective work.

Well it rains and it pours
When you're out on your own
If I crash on the couch
Can I sleep in my clothes?

Hmmmmmm.

'Cause I've spent the night dancing
I'm drunk, I suppose
If it looks like I'm laughing
I'm really just asking to leave.

HMMMMMMMMM.

This alone, you're in time for the show
You're the one that I need
I'm the one that you loathe.

Yeah, pretty much. I'm not going to be TOO HASTY HERE, but I'm gonna go ahead and venture a guess that we might have found our tune. (BERT HATES GERARD NOW. THEY HAD A KIND OF SELF-DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP. BOOZE WAS INVOLVED. IT WASN'T GOOD. ALSO, THEY TOURED TOGETHER.)

You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose
'Cause I love all the poison
Away with the boys in the band.

Dude, this song isn't nearly as hilarious to capslock about! I think maybe it's because it's so much more self-deprecating and honest, and there's all that alcoholism stuff woven in. Also I love Gerard with all of my heart and soul, that might have something to do with it. But srsly, do I even need to spell this out? No, probably not. Poison, boys in the band, you get it, we can move on. Also this song is long and I am lazy. HIGHLIGHTS EDITION:

I've really been on a bender and it shows
So why don't you blow me...
a kiss before she goes?

AHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MAN, BERT, GERARD JUST SAW YOUR FELLATIO-RELATED DOUBLE ENTENDRE AND RAISED YOU A SIGNIFICANT PAUSE. A+++++.

There's some other stuff too, but it's making me sad to think about, and plus I'm actually pretty shitty at interpreting lyrics that are any subtler than YOU LOOK PRETTY LOW. I don't know why, because I'm not at all bad with close readings of poems, but lyrics are just HARD for me. Why is that? I guess they're different skills, but come on, not that different. Whatever. LET'S FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MATTERS HERE:

ARE YOU OKAY? YOU LOOK PRETTY LOW!

In conclusion, I wish more people would write fic where Bert/Gerard turns into another pairing (provided it doesn't completely villainize Bert, because that actually squicks me a bit in RPS, come on, real people aren't morally black or white), because oh man, that is an amazing amazing pair of break-up songs. THIS IS A GOLDMINE, PEOPLE! THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL GAY GOLDMINE.

April

Sun	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat
				1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29	30 1

Sun

Mon

Tue

Wed

Thu

Fri

Sat

I FIND IT HARD TO LOOK AT BERT, THERE. I SAID IT. He's just, he's like one of those homeless people on the street that you try to avoid eye contact with, except apparently Gerard LIKES that look? Oh baby, I'd much rather you be with a lady. Who, you know, bathes.

[link] [reply]

LOL AS IF GERARD BATHES

[link] [parent] [reply]

HE ROCKS THE "I HAVEN'T HAD A SHOWER IN A WEEK" LOOK WAY BETTER, OKAY?

THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN'T SMELL HIM

I totally have to admit, though – if I went on tour, I would be just like Gerard. Deep down, I'm a filthy person. I'd be all, "I CAN'T SHOWER, WE'RE ON TOUR, SO SAD" and everyone would be like "OMG WE STAYED IN A HOTEL LAST NIGHT. DON'T EVEN SIT NEAR ME, SLOB."

This comment brought to you by the shower I just took, for the first time in three days!! \o/

HII!!
i go around ond reply to other ppls conversations.
\o/
BUT I WOULD TOTALLY BE THAT PERSON TOO!!!

I APPROVE OF THIS POST.

um, which is to say, I also find them a goldmine. I made a playlist (http://monkeycrackmary.livejournal.com/783619.html) celebrating their nonsense recently (I picked a different song for Gerard's Ode To Breaking Up, because I've heard that the earliest performances of 'Shut Up An Play' were prefaced by Gerard screaming 'Did you ever feel... USED?' and/or dedications to every member of the Used but Bert).

Now I'm going to go watch the video and revel in the entertainment they provide.

AHAHAHAHAHA THAT IS MARVELOUS. OH MY GOD GERARD MARRY ME I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING.

DID YOU EVER FEEL USED. THIS ONE GOES OUT TO EVERYONE IN THE USED EXCEPT BERT. OMG I'M LAUGHING SO HARD I'M CRYING.

How did I MISS that playlist? Ugh, fail! *runs off to download*

I've lost all doubt in AHA HA HA HA

OHHHHHH MY FUCKING GOD, THEY ARE OFFICIALLY MY FAVORITE EXES EVER EVER EVER EVER, I AM GETTING A TIN HAT SURGICALLY IMPLANTED IN MY SKULL, YOU FUCKING WINNNNNN FOR LINKING THAT!!!!

wtf_bert is the brown acid, seriously. After I joined and was able to see the entries, I ended up going back and reading everything posted around the break-up era. SO MUCH CLASS. My favourite's still Bert with the megaphone, but Gerard certainly gets props for all the dignity and grace he failed to have at the time also.

And then there's the part where Bert's new special friend is Jared Leto, which is kind of beautiful in a way.

You have to check out 'With Me Tonight' by the Used as well -- I uploaded an mp3 a few weeks ago; not sure if it still works. It also features being "low" and "not okay" and lots and lots of "way"s.

omg, omg, I am dying. THIS IS GOLD. AHAHAHAHAHA. THANK YOU FOR THAT LINK OMGGGGGG YOU WIN FOREVER.

It also features being "low" and "not okay" and lots and lots of "way"s.

THAT IS. I JUST. I AM SPEECHLESS. AMAAAAAAAZING!!

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

I am going to go with THE PORN CHOICE. CAUSE THAT IS WHERE THE FUN IS.

AN EMINENTLY REASONABLE DECISION

I am so glad I am not the only Gerard/Bert person hanging around bandom. It is totally my guilty otp. They are so dysfunctional and doomed! Must. Read. Fic. About. Them.

I feel bad for enjoying this so much.

Also, Handsome Awkward wins for bitterness.

Ahahahahahaha, oh man, I should feel bad, shouldn't I? But it's just too hilarious. GERARD WHYYYYYYY.

TRUTH. Although apparently Gerard wasn't particularly graceful either, back in the day. *points at comment above* "Have you ever felt... used?" Srsly, bb? *pats him*

So much in agreement.

Well, with those 2 songs HA wins.

But yes, so much hilarity.

*pats Bert & GeeWay with you*

Okay, this made me die laughing a little bit, wee! I don't like The Used. I will never like them. But... "Pretty handsome awkward" is the best description anyone could come up with for Gerard, like, ever. GO BERT. *g*

heeeeee, I know, right? Oh man, when I first heard the rumor that there was a song called "Handsome Awkward" that was about GERARD, I just about died, because ohhhhh it's so TRUE. YAY BERT, SRSLY, YOU WIN FOR THAT ONE!

Oh no, Gerard hasn't HINTED anything, he's said explicitly that The Sharpest Lives was inspired by a drinking binge he went on with Bert. Um, but where did he say that, ladida... I should know this. It was in one of the magazine articles from when the album came out. You know... one of them. ::handwave::

Ahahahahahaha, WHAT? OH MAN, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT! I WIN AT TINHAT!!

The lyrics to this are the best ever. Not about Gerard? My ass, Bert, you sore loser, you.
I will be continually fascinated by their relationship & subsequent break-up. It's the stuff fandoms are built on.
In conclusion, you are awesome. xD

I knowwww! oh BERT. Sometimes I feel guilty for loving such an uncomfortable situation SO VERY MUCH, but dude, it is the best fic fodder ever ever ever. How. is. this fandom. even. real.

♥ ♥ ♥

BECAUSE THIS ONE TIME GERARD WROTE A SONG CALLED I'M NOT OKAY! GET IT? GET IT? BERT IS SUBTLE LIKE AN ANVIL.

Hahaha! I love how you can interpret the entire album to be about Gerard. In "Hospital" I think he says "I don't feel okay", in another song I can't remember right now there's "When you are low, I am not okay". Then there's "Find A Way" and "I need to find a way to put this trouble behind me".

I love them both so much. It's like they wrote the fanfic for us.

omg, that is so fantastic. I think I'm going to have to actually get my hands on this album, despite my lack of interest in the music, just for the LOLZ. I NEED TO FIND A WAY TO PUT THIS TROUBLE BEHIND ME? IS HE KIDDING????

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

If I think he looks good in that, does that make me crazy?

Dark Days (http://www.box.net/shared/ioazxnt99e) - "I need to find a way to put this trouble behind us."

With Me Tonight (http://www.box.net/shared/7edn94j0mi) - "When you are alone, I am not okay."

Hospital (http://www.box.net/shared/c4rmvioxai) - "Three cheers you fooled them all." And I'm not sure, but one softer part sounds like "I don't feel okay."

Find A Way (http://www.box.net/shared/i49p2lsoti) - "Letting love find a way." This is actually one of my least favorite songs, because it has lyrics like "your lungs full of breathing" and "let go and be burnt by the moon". Oh, Bert. Writing this, you were either on too many drugs or not enough.

And of course, Pretty Handsome Awkward (http://www.box.net/shared/ts3u2bt7lp).

And just for the sake of pimping The Used in general, my favorite songs are Maybe Memories (http://www.box.net/shared/o6u043mrx6) and Wake The Dead (http://www.box.net/shared/u0kilxsjjm).

Ahahahahahahaha! okay maybe his legs look kind of great, shut up, I admit nothing

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH. YAYYYY! I CANNOT WAIT TO LISTEN TO THESE!! OH MY GOD, BERT. BERT. I WANT TO UNDERSTAND YOU, BB.

No problem! It's embarrassing how often I listed to The Used and have to pause it to contemplate whether or not that line is about Bert's tragic love for Gerard.

AHAHAHA! The Bert/Gerard breakup is the best comedic tinhat fodder EVER! I wanna go read about the breakup era now - when exactly was it?

I cannot stop laughing. Seriously. OH BERT! OH GERARD! PLEASE BE BITCHES AT EACH OTHER FOREVER!

kalpurna

Gerard/bad decisions OTP

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

April