go on believe if it turns you on [kalpurna]

You're viewing

kalpurna's journal
Create a Dreamwidth Account Learn More

Reload page in style: site light

←

→

Mmmmmm Cobra Starship, why are you so amazing? This album, you guys, this album. Every song makes me want to dance. I feel like baby Ryan Ross listening to My Chemical Romance. By which I mean that they make me want to daaaaaaance. I want to throw a dance party called No Seriously Viva la Fucking Cobra (Dance, Motherfuckers).

So I've decided that Hel and I weren't wrong about there being something mildly demeaning about meeting your bandom love objects. It's - it's not what you want it to be. It couldn't be, and I don't think it's really anyone's fault. "Hi, you mean the world to me, and you don't know my name. Sign my Latin textbook!" It's just an odd situation, you know? I'm so used to thinking of these guys as, honestly, very much my equal - people whose emotions I can get inside of, people who I can identify with and characterize and talk about casually - that suddenly being thrown into a situation where there's such a clear power and investment differential is kind of disconcerting. It hurts your pride.

IDK. IDK, IDK, life is a funny thing, being a fan is a funny thing. Viva la Cobra. I slept through my only class of the day, my roommate went to class and left her laptop at home, life could be a lot worse.

Mood::

sore

←

→

There are 27 comments on this entry. (Reply.)

YOU JUST NEED TO HANGOUT WITH GABE SAPORTA IN A PARKING LOT, THEN YOU WILL BE FEELING THE AWESOME.

Man, you know what, I think Gabe Saporta is the definite exception to this rule. I want to party with that dude like nothing else in life. Actually, probably everyone is an exception to this rule outside of formalized meet and greet situations? Minus maybe Pete, who I think is weirdly both the most open in his self-representation through the internet and his lyrics, and the most closed off in person. Hmmmm life is weird.

[link] [parent] [reply]

I definitely think the 'line up to get something autographed' is the WORST situation, where as 'small group of chill fans and awesome rockstar type' is one of the better ones (locked in an elevator is #1). I think if I ran into Greta/Bob/Chris/Darren on the street I would be shy about saying "I totally love your band" but I do think they'd be totally \o/ about it, and yeah.

Pete probably was more open? But that boy has had to erect walls for his own wellbeing. (did you giggle at erect, because I TOTALLY did)

[link] [parent] [reply]

I'm so used to thinking of these guys as, honestly, very much my equal - people whose emotions I can get inside of, people who I can identify with and characterize and talk about casually - that suddenly being thrown into a situation where there's such a clear power and investment differential is kind of disconcerting. It hurts your pride.

I'm so interested in people's responses to this. I'm new to bandom, but even in my previous text-based fandoms, commercial cons freak me out. If I'm at a con, I want to be drunk in a hotel with other fangirls talking about fic. I definitely don't want to meet the actors; I don't think I want to meet the writers. I want to be in my fan girl bubble, thanks, where I'm over here and the fan objects are over there. It's different in RPS fandom in that it's, you know, actually based on real people. And I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse. I definitely want to go to the shows so I don't totally have the same Oh-God-no-contact thing, but I have thought that I would be very uncomfortable actually meeting any of them. And I think you're right about why.

I've already decided that if I ever meet Cobra Starship I'm asking them why Ryland continues to wear white pants after Labor Day. I'd possibly also ask for hugs.

Yeah, there IS such a power imbalance.

I want to meet people I'm fans of, but never the ways that it's possible for me to meet them. I want to meet them at a party or something. And unless I can have that, I don't want to meet them at all.

I'm so, so happy to have this album and be listening to it. It's not even funny, how happy it makes me.

YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO. HAVE A DANCE PARTY.

MAYBE RIGHT NOW.

I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING.

[well. first maybe i'd put on some pants.]

I would attend that dance party so hard. No joke.

Yes, I really have no desire to go through an autograph line to meet these guys. And even as much as I'd theoretically like to meet them in a small group or hang out or whatever, I expect I would just choke and stand there grinning like a first class fool. Of course, there are the elaborate fantasies where we're trapped in a bank robbery together or they randomly need to stay at my house for some reason. haha, yeah.

I want to come to your dance party called No Seriously Viva the Fucking Cobra (Dance, Motherfuckers)... also, I think gabe would approve

Yeah, the only person I ever met that I was a fan of was Eric Idle of Monty Python, and I didn't fangirl him in this way... the fan/object of fannish adoration relationship is definitely a weird one.

I should probably call my parents and explain to them the odd package that arrived at my house today or will soon arrive....

I would attend that party so goddamned hard.

Being a fan is a fascinating thing. I know that personally I’m not interested in meeting my objects of fandom. Most of the folks who I am fannish about aren't actually people I would enjoy in real life situations, formal or otherwise. I always find myself unable to answer the "who in bandom do you want to sleep with/meet" meme, simply because my answer is so boring. Bob, maybe. Maybe Greta if she wasn't straight. That's about it. I think they are the only two folks in bandom who I would personally mesh with, but even that's a stretch because I have such a limited perception of their characters, based on things like interviews and a handful of four-minute videos. Anyways. Knowing someone, and I mean really knowing someone, is probably one of the most complicated things in life. I have friends I've know for years who continue to shock and delight me with the unknown.

Yeah - see your reasoning is the exact reasoning why I freaked out so much in Edinburgh. Because I AM an equal to these guys. I'm a stong, independant woman who has amazing friends, a great family, a cool job and I travel. I read, write, sing, dance and love. I'm no different from them. And that's how I think of them - as people.

However, having them right there, on their tour bus, mere feet away, made me feel that imbalance. I wasn't an equal. I was a nameless fan - a nameless female fan and therefore probably only their to scream at Pete or something. And I can only imagine that feeling would be intensified by actually MEETING them. How saying "I love your music" would possibly be mis-heard as "I want in your pants" because so many female fans are saying just that.

I think the same about Gerard who is my band-guy-most-likely-to-get-on-with. I'd want to sit and talk comics with him and ask about Sharpest Lives and if it means the same to him as it does to me. But that equal conversation would never come out in a fan-star-meeting setting because I'd be a nameless (female) fan, probably just swooning over "Gerard Way".

I think the way you emphasise the fact of your female-ness (let's not say femininity, shall we?) is really interesting, and goes to the heart of a lot of things. Because there's a very particular cliche of the dynamic between a male star and a female fan, and it's a sexualised one, albeit in a watered-down way (we're expected to squeal and kiss their posters in a chaste, childlike way, not to approach them as a sexual equal) (I think even gabe would be surprised at how many women would be willing to hang out in his basement, for example). Where a male fan of FOB would be perceived as just loving them for the tunes, a female fan is assumed to have a crush on the guys, and that particular type of investment is seen as less valid. Pete said recently in an interview that it meant way more to him to be told that someone connected with one of their songs than for someone to say that Patrick was hot, illustrating the huge ambivalence there is towards particular types of predominantly female fan investment. See for me, I don't see a separate line between connecting with a song and finding Patrick hot: they're both big parts of my enjoyment of the group and reasons I would buy their merch or go to their concerts. But I'm only allowed to express part of that (outside fandom) without facing derision, and female-fan/male-star encounters will always be forced into that dynamic in some way.

[link] [parent] [reply]

Exactly and then some. :P

The heart of it to a great extent IS that feeling that if I was a guy at a meet and greet? I'd be there because I love the music. Even if I was wearing a "I think Patrick is hot and want his babies" shirt, it would be seen as funny and an added quirk to me liking the music.

But as a female fan I could stand there and talk about the music, discuss the lyrics and the chord progressions and still, underneath it all, have it assumed that I'm only at the meet and greet to ogle them.

Now I DO think that Patrick is hot. Gerard too. And am not adverse to a good ogle. But that doesn't make my love of the music less valid. I just think that the perception of women gets shifted from "women" being the standard line, to "screaming girly" and the ones who aren't being the odd ones out.

[link] [parent] [reply]

Ugh, it's true. Also: I would love to see a dude in a "I think Patrick is hot and want his babies" tshirt. I would love to see Patrick seeing it even more.

But the real killer in this whole thing? 99.999% of dudes in bands started the damn things, at least in part, TO MEET CHICKS.

(Gerard Way possibly being the .0001% exception, just another of the myriad reasons I find him entirely and lovably strange)

But generally? Sex & music = MFEO. Which makes the tension with girlfans all the more RIDIC.

[link] [parent] [reply]

Also: I would love to see a dude in a "I think Patrick is hot and want his babies" tshirt. I would love to see Patrick seeing it even more.

I think Pete would happily step up and be that dude!

Anyway, this is an interesting discussion; I hadn't thought of it quite like that before, but, yeah. (And now I'm trying to decide which of the band guys have close, platonic female friends. The Way brothers, Patrick, probably; Pete not so much? Sorry, my brain went off on a sidetrack!)

[link] [parent] [reply]

I think it's not just perceptions of girls or guys as fan, because gay guys (particularly those that visually are slotted into the twink category) get much of the same 'oh you must only like them because you want to sleep with them even if you are there for music' shit. It's really just masculine and straight guys that are able to have people believe that they are really there for the music (quite a bit less it's a girl headed band, though).

Now I DO think that Patrick is hot. Gerard too. And am not adverse to a good ogle. But that doesn't make my love of the music less valid.

wordy mcword word. Why cannot the world understand this?

[link] [parent] [reply]

That power in balance stuff is definitely weird. I'm not especially interested in doing the meet and greet thing, since I don't really want something signed, but I recognize that with a band as big as FOB, it's probably the only way I'm going to get some sort of interaction with them. Mostly, I'd be looking to say thanks or I dig your music or keep on keepin' on, because I think that's always a nice thing to hear.

If only I had something of substance to say to all of them that fit into like a ten word sentence. But I don't think they make those.

So far my only interaction has been with Hey Chris and that was WAAAAY informal. I was struck by some of the stuff he had talked about w/r/t his childhood and told him so, and he seemed pretty pleased by it. Also, he gives good hugs.

Sometimes I wonder if, subconsciously, this was part of the reason I became a writer. Because even though I'm still fan-me when I meet people, and getting that thrill, I'm also on more even ground with them because we're both there in a professional capacity. I dunno.

My fannish goal in life is still -- well, apart from hanging with Gabe again, obvs -- to have Spencer Smith hate me. I'm a journalist who writes pornfiction! I'm pretty much his worst nightmare, as fans go. I need that bitchface in my life.

Totally agreed. I think that I'd like to meet these dudes, but I don't know about in a meet and greet way, either. And it's interesting, because someone kept talking about being seen as a (female) fan and I think there's a lot to that. Female fans of musicians have another name - groupies. And even if the guys in these bands (and Vicky T and Greta and WTF, Pete Wentz, could you PLEASE sign some more fucking women?) don't think of groupies like that, the rest of the world kind of does. So even if I wanted to walk up to Pete and thank him for his lyrics and how they saved my friend's life, even if I would like to tell Gerard Way that he has saved lives, even if I wanted to geek out over comic books with Ray Toro or play video games with Bob ... I am still read as a groupie.

I would love to meet one of these guys on the street or in a comic store. I'd like to end up looking over in a book store and recommend a book. I'd like to see them at another band's show. I'd like to smoke with them in a parking lot.

But I don't know about something where our roles are so clearly delineated. They're "famous" and I'm "fan." It doesn't sound like it would feel good for me.

OH! Or I'd like us to end up the same tattoo shop, getting tattoos.

I've been convinced for years that my tattoos are the most likely way I could meet any of these people. I'm the only person I know of with a 1/3 sleeve of words.

[link] [parent] [reply]

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU HAVE A SLEEVE OF WORDS??? HI THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WISTFULLY DREAM OF HAVING SOMEDAY. DUDE. DUDE. IS IT LINES FROM POETRY OR JUST RANDOM WORDS OR WHAT? I MUST KNOW!

[link] [parent] [reply]

Well, I have between a 1/4 and 1/3 of it right now. I'm planning the rest of it with my artist (next week, actually!). I also have some words over my heart and on my left arm.

They are:

Right Arm/beginning of sleeve:
* "I wish that you could see the you that I see" - a memorial tattoo for a friend of mine that died. Not quoted from anywhere
* "Because any other life would be a lie." - A paraphrase of something Jeanette Winterson wrote, but I liked my construction better.
* "When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." - Audre Lorde

Over My Heart:
An anatomic heart with "never settle" spelled out in stitches

Left Arm:
"We are powerful because we have survived. Your silence will not protect you." - Audre Lorde, in the shape of a woman-symbol.

I have more, but those are my word tattoos. And I'm getting more soon!

[link] [parent] [reply]

1. totally burnt Viva! to CD and listened to it all day at work in the kitchen yesterday.

There, uhm.... may have been some embarassing dancing and singing along.

2. I WOULD COME TO YOUR DANCE PARTY PLZ TO BE MAKING THAT HAPPEN KAL.

3. Oh gawd. *hides face in armpit* i was totally going to delete that second comment out of shame for my dorktastic declaration, but then forgot. bcz i am a dork. so there's nothing left to do now but embrace my dorktitude and let it ride. *g*

4. Every time i feel un-empowered by or alienated from the ppl i fangirl or just generally lessoned by the role of 'fangirl'? I go practice guitar or work on my writing or painting, or just do anything that puts me back in the creative role, the one who is generating material instead of just consuming it.

5. All time fave comment about Viva La Cobra so far? And i don't remember who said this, but: "'Hurray the Cobra?' So what you're basically saying, Gabe, is SANTI"' *G*

Yes, it's definitely a weird dynamic (not that I regret having waited in line for an autograph!) Like others have said, there's a reason my Mary Sue fantasies focus on "no, really, they're just like me and kids I know, only they worked at and got lucky at different things, and I could totally bump into them at a cousin's wedding and have fun hanging out."

*frowns all thoughtful-like*

I never wait for bands after gigs. Before, it was mostly a question of not being able to, out of a need to get home. Now away at uni, I'm still not going to hang out by tour buses or stage doors.

I've met people in small bands. When you have time for a quick chat, when you don't have to fight your way through fangirls or get rushed off by security guards. & that's okay, the thing with small bands.

But when it's someone you fucking love so hard, like FOB? There's just no way. Because yeah, FOB love their fans as a mass, like, it's nice to have fans, & they know that their music means a lot, because they've been fans of bands that changed their lives too. But essentially, if you go meet them? You're another nameless, faceless fan with not much to say. Because you can't put that sort of feeling into words.

So I don't bother, really. I don't even know what it is. I just don't want to meet anyone I love like that because it will never do any feeling I have concerning the band justice. Defeatist, perhaps, & I know for some people, meeting their idols means the world to them, but unless I can sit down for a chat & just have them know, intuitively, what they mean to me (which is a ridiculous notion, because band-love is something inexplicable even to yourself. It's just a feeling, with lots of hand gestures & incoherent squeaks, maybe tears & laughter, & generally non-speech related actions)... Yeah.

Sorry. That was a mega ramble. When all I really wanted to say was, LOL, COBRA STARSHIP FTW.

April