she's been trying with limited success [kalpurna]

Somebody stopped me in the street today because I was wearing a TAI shirt! It was ADORABLE. She had gone to the HCT too (in Jersey, I assume) and we bonded about loving TAI and CS, and I told her about Allison throwing the fangs at Gabe and him waving back, and she totally SQUEED OUT LOUD, and I don't know, it was just really fun. ♥ I love fangirls! I really, really do. I love fangirls of all types and affiliations. The two guys she was walking with were all *MASSIVE EYEROLL*, and even THAT pleased me, because dudes, you are MISSING OUT, and you don't even KNOW it.

I've been thinking a lot about fannishness today, about fannish affiliation and loyalty and self-identification, because I had a big stupid fight with my family on Father's Day about the tattoo I want to get. My brother was a total fucking asshole about it, insisting that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY I could get a tattoo and not regret it, because HE wanted to get a tattoo once, and he's really glad he didn't! And, you know, I guaran-fucking-tee you that he wanted something lame and meaningless, or worse, his girlfriend's name or something, and yeah, OKAY, thanks for the input, but frankly? I'm not going to be interested until you find someone for me to talk to who made a thoughtful, meaningful decision about what to get and where to get it and why, and who now regrets it. UGH, I am so TIRED of people judging body modification, I feel like it's fucking everywhere in my world this week! A couple of guys I know from high school managed to make me feel embarrassed for the first time since getting them about my nipple piercings. I hate that I let them have that power over me. I hate that

inminiature's oral surgeon gave her a huge fucking unasked-for speech about how she shouldn't get piercings - without, mind you, any actual medical reasons. Everyone who dislikes body mods starts out their speech the same way: "Well, if you want MY advice..." and you know what? I fucking DON'T. I LOVE my piercings. I LOVE the idea of this tattoo. I've done the research, I'm making a thoughtful, informed decision and considering all the options, now please just let my body be my own business. ETA: Also, obvs this does not apply to people whose opinions were actually SOUGHT OUT. But none of the above situations at any time involved anyone saying the words, "What do you think?"

The worst part about it was that the tattoo I want to get – the White Tree of Gondor with the seven stars – is deeply, deeply meaningful to me, as a symbol of fannishness and linguistics and writing and geek pride and a thousand other things, and he made me feel shitty about it. He made it sound like I was getting, like, a Zelda tattoo, and it fucking ISN'T, and what's more, I can picture a half-dozen situations where getting an ACTUAL Zelda tattoo could mean something important, could matter. Fannishness is a part of who I am, geekiness and active engagement with text and language is a gigantic part of my identity, and even if I left fandom, that aspect of my personality would still be something I'm really proud of. I honestly believe I will never be the kind of person who's ashamed of being a geek, and LotR was the first thing I truly, deeply geeked out about. So maybe thirty years from now I won't identify as a fan (hard for me to believe, but possible): if there's any scrap of my personality left, I'll still identify as a nerd, and that tattoo will still matter to me. Ugh, I hate that now I feel like I have to defend it, but seriously, SERIOUSLY. All this bullshit is making me want to gauge my ears and get knuckle tats.

Let's think about more positive things, my lovelies! Let's think about PETE AND PATRICK BEING GAY. You've all seen the Rage clip, of course? Are you not stunned and amazed by the new levels of gay to which our canon can rise? Ohhh, hearts.

April

Sun	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat
				1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29	30 1

Sun

Mon

Tue

Wed

Thu

Fri

Sat

Oh man, I could TOTALLY get a Zelda tattoo and have it mean something to me. That would symbolize my family together and getting along and my mom kicking Ganon's ass and fuck, the TRIFORCE OKAY. The triforce has all sorts of symbology behind it to pull from.

Like, god forbid, should anything happen between me and Sarah and Bridget, the number three has all sorts of other traits and attributes and meanings I identify with. Tattoos and their meanings can change with the person and it's only the shitty, poorly thought out tattoos that don't.

And the White Tree says SO many things beyond just LOTR. In the story itself, to you, to other people. Basically, this is me saying fuck that noise, your tattoo idea rocks.

WHATEVER HAVE SOME DELICIOUS MAN MEAT!

[link] [reply]

God, EXACTLY. I'm fully aware that many aspects of my life and personality may change with age, but dude, THAT'S OKAY. The meaning of your tattoo can change too! I'd go so far as to say it SHOULD change.

And I didn't even get INTO what the White Tree means within the books, and what that means to me, but oh man. Renewal! Hope! The spark of divinity within ordinary things! TREES! I can't even BEGIN to express how I feel about trees, and how Tolkien felt about trees, and the faint memory of Telperion, moonlight and nature and oh, I really, really want it.

OH YUM, MAN MEAT

[link] [parent] [reply]

Are you ready for the immensity of my nerdom? Because, okay, quettaser was an email addy I made up in... eighth grade and it was supposedly "friend of the word" in Elvish (though now that I have a better book on it, I know that it's not). But the email I used before that one? Yavannaiel. Because, hi, Yavanna was kickass.

Anyway, the White Tree rocks muchly and if I could think of something from the Silmarillion to get tattooed on myself (that didn't somehow signify doom), I so would.

That would symbolize my family together and getting along and my mom kicking Ganon's ass and fuck, the TRIFORCE OKAY.

It would mean the same to me! Like the utter nerdy glee that me and my family get out of each other even when three of us four kids no longer live at home. Like calling it "cock-a-leekie village" and laughing every damn time.

Hi BTW :D

Urgh. I haven't told my family about my planned tattoos, partly because when my baby brother was in the tail end of his Rebel Without a Clue stage, he got a tat that he's probably going to regret in the future. But you know, it's his body and all and I'm all supportive of his choice to...get a pimply demon thing on his arm. It just makes it awkward for me and my thought about tats. Dang him.

Anyway, fuck 'em all. You've clearly thought about it. It means something to you, so go get it tiger! Own your body mods, yo!

I'm just totally incapable of keeping secrets about myself, SO. They know about the piercings, too. I kind of wish I could just keep it under wraps, because it is so not worth the hassle, but it's not the way my brain works, apparently.

YAY! Thank you. I think I will. :D :D

I find that living about four hours away from my parents really helps. Also, I kind of...didn't tell them I was queer for about three years so, sad as it is, that's some training there.

I am all about owning right now. I own my kinks. You own your body mods. We both rock and soon I will have body mods to own as well!

I'll tell you this. I'm 23. When I was eighteen, I got my first tattoo, a music note on the back of my neck. At nineteen, I got a Japanese character on my left ankle... that was sort of an accident. *g* At twenty, I got an Egyptian Eye on my right wrist, and just a few months ago, I got a heartagram on my left collarbone.

Some of the tattoos are... less meaningful now, than they were when I got them. But they're still exactly what I needed, and each and every one has a story and memories and happiness connected to it. Sometimes, I think I should have thought a bit harder before getting the middle two, but then I think that I wouldn't change a thing about them.

I'm going to keep getting tattoos, and maybe I'll get a few that don't really agree with me all that well in later years, but it's my body, and my story, and that's all there is to say. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about wanting to make memories permanent.

Dude, you know what Pete Wentz says: never trust someone who doesn't regret a few of their tattoos just a little bit. *g* And I mean, I feel like that's just honestly not the end of the world, and my brother doesn't get that at ALL. Your body IS your story, how fucking cool is that? And okay, much like life in general, some parts maybe could have been better planned or whatever, but dude, it's still who you ARE, your life mapped out on your skin, and I can't imagine anything more awesome.

That's exactly right, and way better phrased than my ramble. *g* Regret is part of life. Despite the minor regret I have about my middle two, I still love telling the stories behind them. They make me more me, and that's just how it is. *g*

Dude, you know what Pete Wentz says: never trust someone who doesn't regret a few of their tattoos just a little bit.

I srsly love that my life has reached a point where things that Pete Wentz has said seem like really good guide posts for living. I mean that completely without sarcasm. *G*

Your body IS your story, how fucking cool is that?

Yes, exactly. And historically, people have known that and acted accordingly, hence the long history of extensive tattooing throughout the human experience. It's only been these few hundred years in a here in our Puritan-established colony that has gotten our particular mainstream culture thinking it's some kind of odd or rebellious activity instead of a standard way of marking and claiming our own bodies as a way of showing our own identity and, as you say perfectly, story.

You're shiny and awesome any YOU LOVE THEM, AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS!

And the tattoo you're gonna get is EVEN MORE AWESOME because it has meaning behind it!

So damn all the h8rs gettin' u down! ;-P

(plus - the tattoo's not even in a place that's gonna get saggy and gross when you're 85. So WTF?)

ON TO OUR BOYS!
No, Patrick. It's not a hot girl. It's a hot Pete and you love it. So don't try to fool us with that little squirm. WE KNOW YOUR GAME!

(ohmigia I love them how are they so cute and amazing and JOE'S FUCKING FACE! I LOVE HIM!)

damn my brain, and damn there not being an edit comments feature.

the word "piercings" is missing somewhere in this comment. Where is up to you.

heeeeeee, that could be a fun game.

;-P

Yay, thank you! I DO LOVE THEM VERY MUCH. I... really wish I were brave enough to post pictures of my nipples on the internet, because seriously, they look GREAT. \o/

I know, dude, I know! And it's a place that can be covered at work, if it needs to be, and yet still shown off easily. My sister-in-law was all, oh, but you can see it in certain shirts! And oh man, it would KILL me to have my first tattoo be invisible in all clothing. It is killing me not showing off my piercings! I am PROUD of my body mods. I LIKE THEM OKAY DEAL WITH IT

Oh my God, okay, watch PETE'S FACE when he realizes he's not getting the reaction he wants, and CLEARLY decides to step it up a notch. (Poss by putting his hand under Patrick's shirt?) AWESOME.

OR DOWN THE BACK OF HIS PANTS.

TBH, I was half expecting you to. And then I was like "Ah, she probably realized that this was one of those 'or perhaps not' moments in life"

Yeah, you totally don't need a tattoo that raises eyebrows when you show it off in public - like, really low on the hip so you have to pull your pants down anytime someone asks to see it? Nah.

Ok, going back to rewatch with Pete's face in mind now. I love these boys.

So, on the subject of totally unwanted opinions regarding your tattoo, here's mine. I am opposed to about 95% of all tattoos I've ever heard of (largely they seem stupid and uncreative or just gratuitous)... and yours sounds awesome. I might even say so if it were just a general, oh, I love Tolkien, I think I'll get this! idea because wow, at least it's pretty damn unique. But if it represents something even deeper to you? Beautiful. I am all for more meaningful, symbolic, nerdtastic body art.

Aww, thank you so much! That means a lot, because ugh, right now I seriously need the reassurance. And I didn't even MENTION all the stuff that tree stands for within the books – like renewal and hope and rebirth and tradition and civilization and moonlight and nature and just, I REALLY WANT IT. Meaningful symbolic nerdtastic body art FTW!

Oh my god, BOYS. Do they have any idea what they DO to us? ♥

And dude, seriously, fuck that re the tattoo. It's a beautiful design that's personally meaningful and it'll be in a spot that'll age well. It's your body, it's a decision you've put a lot of thought into, who are they to give you a hard time about it? I only WISH I could figure out something that had that sort of overarching fannish meaning to me because I'd get it done in a heartbeat.

I get a lot of crap from my family every time I mention wanting to get a tattoo, too. It's a toss-up between "you'll regret it in a couple of years" and "you're scared of needles, you'll never go through with it" as my favorite argument. I mean,

1. I have never done anything lastingly stupid in my LIFE because hey, I'm cautious, reasonably intelligent, and capable of making adult decisions.
2. Screw you. No, I do not like needles, but I am also not going to let being scared stop me. See: all the traveling I have done and will do this year on my own, never having been far from home before.

And hi, I am now done ranting in your general direction.

I think Pete has an inkling, frankly. *vbg*

I know, right? I know. What kills me about the whole thing is that it is SO CLEARLY an anti-body-mod attitude, because come on, what MORE could I be doing to make this the right kind of tattoo? Seriously!

The whole thing boils down to, "But this is a decision with permanent consequences!" And oh my GOD, okay, do they think I can go through life without making any of THOSE? This is my choice, it's something I want. Get the fuck over it, I'm an ADULT. aaargh.

Dude, I'm all jealous of your fangirl interaction. AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU HAVE THAT SHIRT. (seriously though, it amuses me endlessly that we have three matching shirts). And whatever, FUCK them, your piercings DO look awesome and it was your choice it's your body and they can all go to hell.

I AM SO GLAD! THANK YOU BB. We should probably arrange to wear them at the same time while you're in Australia, right? OBVIOUSLY?

DUDE OKAY, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE IN ALL OF THE INTERNETS WHO CAN VOUCH FOR ME: DO THEY NOT LOOK ~AWESOME~? \o/ \o/ \o/

Fo sho! I'd have worn it today, except, you know. Chocolate. WHOOPS.

HEAR YE, HEAR YE INTERNETS. HANNAH'S TITS LOOK SUPER AWESOME WITH THE BITS OF METAL JABBED THROUGH THEM.

Henh. I've got my next four tattoos thought through and picked out (and another one still under consideration), but have been trying to pick the exact perfect locations for each. So for the past couple of weeks, I've been penning them all on in different places and sizes with a Sharpie. I'm pretty much settled on it all at this point and am now just continuing to draw them on each day bcz i love them and love looking at them but can't afford to get them done yet. And yes, a sturdy fuck off and die to anyone who doesn't like it.

In other news, how much of your day have you spent pondering exactly what Pete was doing with his fingers on Patrick's back? I imagine there was some playful walking to start out with, like when Pete walks his fingers across Patrick's breast in the breast exam demo clip. Then there was some stroking and circling and a little bit of rib tracing. But the ending, the part that made Patrick go blank and shiver as he moaned 'ooohhh groosss', was Pete trailing his fingers right down the middle of his spine, down his low back, and under the waist of his jeans to trace the cleft of his ass.

Eventually, somebody will undoubtably ask on the q&a 'yo pete! patrick is SOOOO hawtzor and my frndz think ur hawt fer his ass too! wot were you doing with ur fingrs on his back in the FUSE clip? and Pete will give a three am sassy response like 'the question is wot wuz patrick's back doing to my fingrs.' or 'patrick had a 'hawtzor' but the doctor gave him an ointment and he's feeling much better now.'

Awwww, that's so awesome! I love that. I would do that with mine, but, uh, it's on my back, and I am not that flexible.

A LOT OF MY DAY, HONESTLY. I think your summary is very accurate! If you look at the angle at which Patrick's leaning forward it seems likely that he must have had a little strip of pale skin exposed just over his waistband, and Pete is totally taking advantage of it. OH BOYS. SO GAY. SO WONDERFUL. <3

That is... probably canon! HAHAHAHA, I LOVE CANON.

he must have had a little strip of pale skin exposed just over his waistband

NNNRRRRRHHHHHHHHH.....

*bunk-bound*

PETE COULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO RESIST THAT! FUCK THE CAMERA.

HEE. YOUR ICON!!! *adores*

Would it be possible for you to point me to the base pic for that if you happen to have it?

I've got three tattoos and while two of them are not what I'd get now, they were what I wanted then. So they are a snapshot of my past so I can't entirely regret them. They are a little twee and cutsie but, they're mine and I love them. And they have meaning. My most recent one does have a lot of meaning. So, screw it, if it means something to you, do it.

And the Rage clip...hee. There's a more gay segment when Pete's discussing Patrick kissing some guy (who was in the band he was announcing)...it was very cute.

See, that's the thing! Even if they don't mean the same thing to you now, that doesn't mean it was a mistake to get them, and my brother just fundamentally does not get that.

Trying to decide which of those two segments is gayer may have just broke my gaydar

I don't know if you know this [because I don't know if you've actually added me, so I don't know if you know this, which isn't the point, actually], but I want to get, well, I want to get a lot of tattoos, which is completely something that my family is against. My parents are very, very like, straight-off-the-boat Greek, and they believe really deeply in their religion, and in family togetherness, and in marrying Greek and not outside of it [which are all lovely things, I guess, unless you have me as a daughter], and they also belive in not marring your body in any way, shape or form that god didn't intend for it to be marred in.

And like, when I was a kid, and all of the other little girls in my class had pierced ears, and I didn't because my mom wouldn't let me, yeah, I got miffed, but pierced ears aren't like, this really big thing, you know? Practically nothing in the grand scheme of things.

But a tattoo. A tattoo is different, and permanant, and my mother would seriously skin me alive if she even heard me talking about wanting one, let alone actually having one.

So, basically, the prologue to my point [because apparently I was in the mood to write you a novel] is that tattoos are this big, like, NO in my family. It's almost like there should be this stern looking german woman sitting there at all times being like, NEIN, NEIN VERBOTTEN when I even think about tattoos, or body piercing or ::gasp, shock and horror:: pre marital sex.

And to be honest, I am really shit with pain. And I don't like blood, or needles, or strange people who I've never met before invading my personal space, so getting a tattoo, was like. I wanted one, like, when I was 18 and was just graduating high school and wanted to rebel, but I didn't want it for the right reasons, you know? And I talked myself out of it, for family loyalty and because it would hurt, and it was easy to do that, because it didn't actually mean anything.

To make an enourmous story a little shorter, this changed when I got into the whole bandom...thing. I don't even know what to call it. Whatever. And now, I'm planning [on my 21st birthday next April, a) because 21 is huge in my head as like, this really adult place and b) I will [hopefully] have more money by then] on getting can't take the fight from the kid on either my left hip or thigh.

I've only told my sister about it [because seriously, I would not be alive to type this comment to you if either of my parents or my brother knew], and she is so, so completely against the idea that it's not even funny, and she keeps like, coming up with all of these compromises and loopholes to make me change my mind, because she says in a year, I won't be a Panic! fan, and in a year, Pete Wentz and everything he's [unknowingly] done for me, won't matter, because I'll have moved on, and it's like.

She doesn't get that this isn't about Pete. It's not even about Ryan Ross and the hell he went through to write that song [did you know that Camisado actually means something? I just found out the other day, and it completely broke my heart], it's about me, and how I've interpreted the words.

::breathes::

Wow, sorry. That was long. But, I totally get where you're coming from, is the point there. Really.

Wow, that's so interesting! I can't even imagine dealing with that kind of pressure, and I'm so impressed that you're brave enough to do what you want with your body when you have that kind of outlook in your immediate family. I'm, honestly, really fucking lucky, in that my parents are very liberal and don't really object to tattoos on other people (just me). I'm out to them about my bisexuality, too, and I totally don't want to give the impression that I don't know how lucky I am, because man, I AM.

And oh, oh, all the best tattoos are like that, I think. They're about, you know, whatever they're about – but down at the core, they're about YOU, and the real reason it doesn't matter if you change as you get older with a really good tattoo is that it's still going to be part of YOUR story, part of YOUR soul inked into YOUR skin, and that's never not going to be amazing. I love it so very very much.

Camisado means an attack at night or dawn, while the enemy's asleep, right? Oh my God, Ryanross, come here so I can hug you FOREVER.

Camisado does mean that. And I had no idea. I knew it meant something, but I wasn't one hundred percent sure, but then my best friend looked it up, and told me, and I may have cried a little? Because I am apparently an emotional wreck when it goes to that boy.

6 tats and three piercings later and I'm still saying fuck 'em all. You gotta do what you want, babe. :D

Awww, fangirl love! :D

As for tattoos, wow, yeah, I feel you. Because this weekend I was trying to gently break my mother into the idea of me getting a tattoo, and she just totally didn't get it. She just kept going "but why can't you just do henna or temporary tattoos and that way when you change your mind you can take it off?" and I just had to keep saying "you know, it's not about that." And the thing is, I'm so far from being sure of it myself that I know I'm not going to get it yet, I'm going to wait until I'm sure you know, it's not like I'm going to fuck off and drunkenly get it, but it's one of those things where I don't think a parent can ever really trust their child to know "what's best" for themselves. I know my mother thinks I've got my head on straight and that I'm totally a responsible adult and yet... you know?

Anyway. Go you, for knowing what you want and going for it.

I'm lucky. My dad has a tattoo, and my mother is going to get one, my best friend has a few she designed, and my boyfriend is all about the tattoos/piercings/suspensions. My dad's told me that I'll hate getting it done, because I am the biggest wimp on earth when it comes to pain, but he trusts me to think about it and get a tattoo that means something to me.
I decided to get my friend (the one with the two gigantic self-designed tats and also, ha, nipple piercings) to design a small one for me to go on my hip.
I don't really know why I'm telling you this, but...get your tattoo. It sounds amazing, and real, and it's not something that is going to fade, because you've permanently inked your skin with it. The precise original meanings might change or dissolve, but it will always be yours. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about what you love and what you feel is important in your life, not even family members. They can be the harshest of judges.
Also, show the nipple piercings! I am only going on your word here about how great they are. Rings or straight bars, and if bars, vertical or horizontal?

I'm really lucky because nearly everyone in my family has a tattoo. It's not even a big deal. Both of my grandfathers are covered in ink. In fact one of my grandfathers is friends with this world renowned family of tattooists/piercers. All of my uncles and most of my aunts have tats. My grandda took my aunt Sara to get her tattoo.

The best thing though was when I was like seven and we moved from Indiana to the South. My mama, sister, and I stayed to sell our house while my dad went to start work in the South. We get down there a couple months later and my dad has this beautiful celtic knot iin dark blue-green etched into his upper arm. He was like, "Surprise!"

I think the idea of the Tree of Gondor is awesome. I've always thought it'd be really cool spread over the back. Where do you want it done?

i get the impression that your bro is deeply jealous -- as if he didn't get the tattoo he wanted because *someone* else gave him the same spiel he gave you...

So.

The minute I turn 18 I am (no joke) going to get "you are the wonder that keeps the stars apart" tattooed around my wrist. That line is just so beautiful, and to me it represents and the wonder and beauty that Pete brings into my life, and the world with his words.

I say go for it. It has a really deep meaning to you, and that is such a beautiful symbol. So screw what they think. Do what feels right to you.

Stupid tattoo prejudice. I have the same tattoo as my ex-girlfriend that we got together because they weren't all about us - they were about friendships that you make online with amazing people and good times and such. She may now be my ex, but that tattoo is still ever as meaningful. Sod 'em all.

Also - have you seen the related clip? Where they're mocking Patrick about making out with a dude under a table? HELL YEAH!

So, about that tattoo...
I know, right? Because in my years long search for a tattoo that I will feel right down to my bones, for the rest of my life, I've gone through many ideas, (one of which was the white tree of Gondor) and I've never gotten support for any of them. I don't know if it's just because everyone is coming from a different head space when they look for the meanings behind things or what, but I eventually just stopped asking for other peoples opinions. But if I may be hypocritical and inject my opinion about your possible tattoo, I say if it feels right to you, if you get all breathless thinking about it, you should go for it. To me the tree of Gondor is not only a beautiful and elegant design, but also a representation of where I was coming from, my all-consuming love of stories. And to get a little sappy, I always thought of it as a testimony to how amazing the minds and spirits of humans can be, not only as shown by the characters in Tolkien's work, but also by the fact that one man was able to hold that entire world inside himself, and create it for the rest of us to take inside ourselves as well. I ended up with a different tattoo, but the tree of Gondor still stands as a reminder to me of the possibilities of words to create worlds to inhabit and people to fall in love with and common ideas that we can all connect over. I'm sorry to lecture you quite so vigorously, especially since I don't think I've ever posted to you before, but tattoos are one of my great passions, and it's so fucking rare that someone knows what they want that you shouldn't hesitate. You will never regret it as long as you always respect the person you are now, even after you might have changed.